Winter 2013 First Impression Rankings (and crappy short opinions)

A quick summary of the first impressions of winter 2013:

1. Tamako Market
This is Kyoto Animation doing what they do best, where they will be able to do their best.

2. Minami-ke Tadaima
Better than the last three seasons combined.

3. Maoyuu Maou Yuusha
This is Spice and Wolf upsized; more cutesy romance, more GAR, less confusing jargon, and a huge pair of tits.

4. Yama no Susume
Short episodes and slice-of-life fits together like peanut butter and jelly.

5. Kotoura-san
Works beautifully on a pretty generic formula. But if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

6. Senran Kagura
Tis' one of those shows that is so dumb, watching it makes you feel smart. And horny.

7. Vividred Operation
You either watching it for the story catered for a five-year-old, or for little girl butts.

8. Sasami-san@Ganbaranai
A flashy and ambitious undertaking that impressed exactly zero people.

9. Mangirl!
A fair amount of success in the graphic department and failing miserably in the comedy department.

10. Amnesia
Compress the first 3 episodes into 10 minutes, and you might have something. Might.

11. GJ-bu
A bunch of stereotypes lumped together by the worst comedy writer there is.

12. Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba Sugiru
Having two shitty main characters doesn't make a show enjoyable.

13. Boku was Tomodachi ga Sukunai NEXT
Same shit, in a slightly nicer-looking package.

14. Da Capo III
The characters themselves are less relevant than their tits.

First Impressions: Kotoura-san

Instant Summary: A girl can read the minds of others, but her childhood was ruined because she didn't learn to respect the privacy of others.

An underdog appears!

It's simple and it works. Kotoura is a lonely and depressed girl that puts a barrier between her and other people, but our male lead shamelessly barges into her life, making sure she won't be lonely again. Yes, it's a fairly cliche setup, but the important thing is that it didn't felt forced at all. In fact, the whole title felt more easy-going than anything, with plenty of humour and a tad bit of fanservice, despite the pretty dark introduction and undertones.

My favourite part is how the main character consistently break Kotoura's mental barrier by raping her mentally, flooding the mind-reader with perverted thoughts. It's hilarious how the guy is completely innocent in this case, but Kotoura is defenceless and endlessly flustered in these cases.

And Kanemoto Hisako, our dear Ika-musume, sounds so freaking awesome with those flustered sounds. HanaKana, on the other other hand, sound pretty unimpressive in a non-moe role.

While the production values are pretty darn low for my liking, I'll still definitely enjoy this.

Outlook: Pretty damn good!

First Impressions: Da Capo III

Instant Summary: The newspaper club accidentally resurrects a dead magical sakura tree, and writes about it.

Well, I'm cheating here. This isn't really a 3-episode test, because I really can't get past the second episode. And that's saying a lot for a title with so much emphasis on tits.

And this anime is really all about tits. They flaunt chest-shots like Strike Witches flaunt their crouch-shots. I'm not familiar with the Da Capo franchise, but the character designs seems to have taken a 10-year step back into the past; pasting gargantuan boobs on incredibly slender bodies, huge eyes with various shades, and hair with various styles and flashy colours. The personalities are as stereotypical as it can get; and they also happen to be the most beautiful girls in the whole school. And they all really like the main character for no reason.

Believe it, the story about the blooming of the sakura tree or whatever isn't going to matter one bit. All that matters is the juicy parts in each of the female character's back-story. And since this anime isn't in omnibus format, we're stuck to one "route", meaning that all we'll see is a tiny fraction of a character's story. Meaning they're mostly empty characters to meet the girl count. Meaning they're just mostly tits.

I guess I learned that popularity of Da Capo is due to how faithfully it stuck to being a traditional harem setting. And by traditional, I meant unoriginal. Da Capo is the epitome of a stereotypical anime, but I can see why someone would like it. But that someone will never be me.

Outlook: Horrible

First Impressions: Amnesia

Instant Summary: Nameless female lead has complete memory loss, but she can't tell anyone about it.

...and that sounds weird already. Why can't you tell anyone about it? Because a floating dwarf that only you can see tell you so? Looks like we're going off a very bad start...

You know how some anime titles jump straight into the middle of the story before starting on the introductions in the second episode? The first episode is where they had to capture the audience no matter what (which explains Sasami-san). Amnesia should have taken a leaf out of Shaft's book, because the first episode got to be the worst one yet. It was extremely slow and boring, and the terrible momentum carried on to the third episode, where the questions kept piling on without any answers. I don't know why or what's the point of anything that goes on in the show. To me, it's just... stuff going on.

The biggest problem is, the show never made me want to find out the answers to all the questions. Our main heroine has amnesia, but so what? It's not like there's anything important to the show worth knowing. It's not like someone died, got raped, or got their lives destroyed in creative ways I want to learn about. It seems that the only important thing she forgotten is that she started dating someone. Like I care.

I might be wrong about this; somewhere in the later episodes, all the stuff that has happened might actually matter... enough... to be interesting. If it does, I'll hear about it on the blogosphere. But I'll put my money down that it doesn't, so I'll stop wasting time here.

Outlook: Boooring~

First Impressions: Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai NEXT

Instant Summary: A bunch of antisocial high-schoolers form a club to learn how to make friends.

I've had many words for the first season of Haganai, and most of them are negative. I'm not surprised they made a season, though. The attractive character designs and pandering archetypes are more than enough to secure a sizable fanbase.

The animation has improved a lot since the last season, but my problems with the title remains the same. There isn't a coherent plot that actually let the characters "learn to make friends". There's no development of any kind. That won't be a problem if the title banks purely on slice-of-life, jokes or both, but it's mostly comedy based on the pandering archetypes, including a very unlikable bitch.

Everything about this title feels so cheap.

Outlook: Hell no.

First Impressions: Sasami-san@Ganbaranai

Instant Summary: A shut-in (hikikomori) has the power to alter reality.

...Yes, the summary is a bit of a spoiler, but I'll keep it that way. You see, the first episode can be pretty frustrating to watch. It revealed little to no info about the setting of the show, and it plunges straight into a insane series of unexplainable action ranging from coating the entire world with chocolate to fighting giant tentacles with rocket launcher bursting out from a high-schooler's tits. While it may be the studio's intention to draw attention with the mania, but the frustration quickly turned into irritation for me.

With such a insane first episode, I found it really hard to be convinced by the extremely brief explanation in the following episodes. I was still fully expecting the half-assed explanation to be some sort of red herring, or delusions of our main character.

The sad thing is that despite the bold opening to the show that seems to blow up half the budget of the anime, the whole fiasco is still visually unappealing. We all know that Shaft makes poop every now and then, and Sasami-san seems guaranteed to be one of them. Aside for a small bits of fan-service and comedy, the "reality alternation" theme is the main bait of the title, but I'm not biting. There aren't many complaining about show like I do, but it really didn't wow many people at all. I'm really not expecting a lot from this one.

Outlook: Disappointing

First Impressions: Vividred Operation

Instant Summary: A bunch of girls fight big evil machines.

The promise of fanservice had me fooled; as it turns out, Vividred Operation is totally a kid's show.

And I'm not saying that because I thought the story is lousy or shallow. But it is very formulaic. So much that up to the third episode, the show has been nothing but making new friends and fighting unexplained bad guys in power suits without a clear origin, complete with transformation sequences AND FUSION. And no, there isn't even a hint that it would be an anime like Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha or something. All the time they spent calling their attacks, and all the awkwardly long discussions in the middle of the battle, makes this as Power Rangers as it can get.

Some people rant endlessly about the butt shots in the show (see the last pic, lol). I've no idea what they are complaining about. For someone who expect the show to shamelessly stuff as much crouch shots into the animation as possible (like in Strike Witches), I'm honestly kind of disappointed. Besides, they're not even blatantly exposing the girls' underwear as a theme for the show; they're just using bloomers that almost always fails to contain the full volume of their ass meat. Seriously, if you're going on ride on Strike Witches's fame, you might as well go all the way.

Or maybe they toned it down because it is trying to be a kid's show.

And here's something else that made it more like so: the naming pattern of the characters.
Isshiki Akane (One, Red)
Futaba Aoi (Two, Blue)
Saegusa Wakaba (Three, Leaf) (She's the green one)
Shinomiya Himawari (Four, Sunflower) (She's the yellow one)

The antagonist's name is Kuroki Rei (Black). Also, Akane's mom is Mashiro (White). Get ready to see White Ranger Mom pop out in the last episode and kick everyone's ass.

Here's hoping they could pull off an insane plot twist like the one a while ago did. Otherwise, unless children cartoons is your thing, move on. There's nothing to see here (except little girl butts).

Outlook: For kids, lolicons and pervs only.

First Impressions: Yama no Susume

Instant Summary: Two girls began a mountain climbing hobby.

I've always been a slice-of-life fan, ever since the first Hidamari Sketch 6 years ago. But even for top titles like Aria and Hidasketch, there would inevitably be boring segments, or even boring episodes every now and then. It ain't easy making a slow paced animation interesting for 20+ minutes all the time.

It seems like Yama no Susume is that solution for that. Bite-sized slice-of-life anime! The best part is that slice-of-life characters doesn't necessary need development or depth to work. So, they pretty much worked together like a charm! Why didn't anyone think of this sooner? Or maybe they did, but every other 3-min anime I've seen so far lean towards to comedy genre, even Morita-san no Mukuchi.

I enjoyed a fair bit of hiking myself, so I can relate to the topic. So, even if the title is anything but impressive, it might very well be one of my favourite shows this season.

Outlook: Very, very good!

First Impressions: Senran Kagura

Instant Summary: A bunch of modern ninja girls have huge tits.

Or maybe, just "tits". This is literally a boob anime. After all, the game it spawned from is about doing as much clothing damage and breast jiggling as possible. Fans of anime oppai, this is your show. After all, the production quality isn't too bad for a show that doesn't pretend it has a lot of substance. In fact, even the action scenes and voice work aren't as terrible as I expected it to be.

Do expect plenty of fairly good character designs, especially from the antagonists' side. I happen to find Hibari irresistibly cute too. Just... don't expect a story, of course.

Outlook: Neutral, unless you're an anime boob fan.

First Impressions: Mangirl!

Instant Summary: A bunch of girls form a manga publishing film, even if they have no idea how to.

I've always watched 3-min anime titles not because they're anything interesting, but because they're an easy way to spend/waste a spare bit of time. I can't remember if any of them was any good at all, but some of them, like last season's Teekyuu, was still somewhat entertaining. While I'll say Mangirl! is still a pretty good time waster, it didn't stand out. That is to say, it isn't all that interesting either.

Among the ones I've seen, the jokes in Mangirl! seems milder than the rest. The really cute characters are a big plus, although they didn't add much to the hollow characters. A bit of insight into the manga editor's world could be interesting, although I don't feel that the show is serious enough to make use of that.

Outlook: Pretty much the average-est anime there is.

First Impressions: Tamako Market

Instant Summary: A girl lives in a mochi shop in a shopping arcade.

Every now and then, there's a title that will entertain you even without knowing what it's really about. And it usually only comes from Shaft or Kyoani. That's what Tamako Market feels like on first glance. And this isn't like K-On (not on first glance, anyway) where you will never expect a real plot. What should I expect in the next few episodes? Will I see some form of conflict arise within the shopping arcade, the school, or the characters? Or will it simply be a different kind of plot-less slice-of-life?

But I don't need answers, because Kyoani perfected the art of making you feel warm and fuzzy inside with 40 episodes + 1 movie of K-on. And being an anime original means they got free rein to exploit that ability as much as possible. In short, if you like the trend Kyoani is moving into lately, this is the best that it can get.

Or maybe it really isn't even that hard? Tamako always seems absurdly cutely no matter when you pause the anime. Maybe it's just about making character appealing 100% of the time.

Interestingly, Kyoani seems to have a knack at producing fresh VA talent. It happened with K-On, it happened with Chuunibyou, and now this? Maybe the end product of the voice acting relies more heavily on the studio than I thought?

Tamako Market easily became the most likable show, just like that. There aren't much I can tell you what the show is about, but I can tell you it'll be enjoyable.

Outlook: Mochi Umai!

First Impressions: Oreshura

Instant Summary: The school beauty blackmailed the protagonist into becoming her boyfriend, making his childhood friend jealous.

I'm not gonna type out the whole title because seriously, fuck that.

First off, why is the whole colour scheme so darn pale? Since when it is ever a good idea? I might understand if you're trying to do something fuwa fuwa like Aria, but so far it's been pretty much all-out comedy.

The anime is rubbing me the wrong way, in every way possible. Our main heroine is a complete bitch. Our protagonist is an ex-chuunibyou that gets pushed around by the main heroine. The whole show runs on the manipulative tricks of our bitchy heroine. The random chuunibyou segments made me cringe more than it made me laugh. And instead of enjoying the eccentric antics of Chiwa, all I felt was pity for her.

And while she's the only likable character in the title so far, she seems doomed to become a tragic heroine. Isn't it how it always goes? Ichigo 100% seems to be the only title that did anything different. Pretty soon, we'll hear about the tragic history of our bitch heroine, the protagonist's empathy would then turn into affection, and our dear Chiwa would end up pairing with a secondary character no one gave half a shit about. Either that, or an open, inconclusive ending. Sure, I'm just speculating for now, but the first 3 episodes doesn't inspire much confidence that they would try anything out of the ordinary.

In short, the comedy failed terribly, and I don't like where the romance part is going. There's two other heroines who has yet to make an appearance, but I highly doubt that their presence is going to significantly improve things.

Oh, and for some reason, our bitch heroine doesn't wear pantsu. How is that suppose to add to the character?

Outlook: Horrible.

First Impressions: GJ-Bu

Instant Summary: A bunch of people in a club without a purpose.

This is one of the growing number of anime titles that puts a bunch of girls with a single guy in a club, where they do nothing but talk most of the time. With the exception of Joshiraku (which actually had a number of scenes outside of the room), most of the titles like these suck.

And in 3 episodes, GJ-Bu proved itself to be one of the worst titles in this particular genre. The characters designs are extremely stereotypical, on top being slightly annoying. The music is lame. The animation is dull. And most importantly, their jokes are so bad. It's one of the very few times where there's absolutely nothing I like about the show, although there's nothing I really hate about it too.

I came into this mostly for Uchida Maaya's (who voiced Rikka in Chuunibyou) new role, but all she had become is a new KugiRie. What a waste.

Outlook: Extremely boring.

First Impressions: Minami-ke Tadaima

I'm in the camp that only acknowledge this as the second season of Minami-ke. While I'm not completely wowed by the first season create by Daume, Asread's Minami-ke Okawari and Okaeri had a pretty shitty sense of humor, coupled with some of the worst animation I've seen. I've always missed Minami-ke's unique sense of comedy, and it's about time they brought it back.

I didn't have high hopes for Tadaima, because I'm mainly just hoping that they don't fuck this up too badly. And while I didn't have a very good impression of studio Feel... man, this season is simply awesome! Gone were are horrible acting and animation, and even the first season's awkward pauses. Within three episodes, Tadaima has already became one of the funniest, and cutest slice-of-life comedy I've seen.

I love the sisters of the Minami household. Touma, Uchida and Hosaka are some of my favourite characters too. Minami-ke has one of the most likable sets of characters out there, and it's just awesome to see them in the proper, beautiful form they deserves. This is going to be the best season of the title yet.

Outlook: Awesome!

First Impressions: Maoyuu Maou Yuusha

Instant Summary: The Hero seeks to kill the Demon King (queen), but ends up joining her quest for peace through the use of science and economics.

Man, just look at those jugs!

Rather than being a hard sell, it's a brilliant move, actually. We're not expected to enjoy Spice and Wolf without the tsundere wolf girl that goes naked on a regular basis, and for the same reason we're supposed to enjoy seeing our buxom female lead while they talk about economics. It's the sizzle of the steak. Anime is fabulous in this way. And look at all the fan art about her that has already popped up.

Tits aside, I find Maoyuu to be simply a Spice and Wolf that is easier to digest. The truth is, hardly anyone watch Spice and Wolf for the confusing jargon and complex microeconomics involved. While I can't really tell how much the economics stuff mattered in the future episodes, it feels like it was kept simple to give more room for the characters, which is what everyone wants after all. Well, they didn't really score points by making them all lovey-dovey in just 2 episodes, but I guess the theme of the show makes it forgivable.

Of course, I'm judging this in comparison to Spice and Wolf based on what I've heard on the blogosphere, but who knows? I didn't know anything about it myself, and this could turn out to be much more of a rom-com than I expected it to. Well, I guess it couldn't hurt that way either.

Outlook: Looks pretty good!